Pay Attention

Pay attention to everything.

Misery Must Feel Horrible

When I think of the things miserable people do to bring you down to their level… I realize just how horrible it must be to dwell there. I often see people engage with their coworkers and laugh and joke amongst one another… All the while doing shady, hateful things to those who are not a part of their clique. Ppl who look down upon others due to their circumstances or statuses are usually the ringleaders. How horrible must misery be, for a person to pick on someone “less fortunate” than themselves?

Having the chance to experience my times of being at rock bottom… I got to see the world for what it really is. Most humans don’t appreciate what they have…. They just get a kick out of pouring their shit upon those they deem “less than” they are. But in all honesty, the people who are unkind… no matter their social or financial statuses are the most POOR people there are. Money and status don’t make you better than you are… The caliber of your heart determines your rank in life. Many people with no dollars are very rich. Many people with great wealth are DIRT POOR! If one has no love inside their hearts… I feel sorry for them! What a raggedy experience that must be?!

Why Am I Afraid

Each day as I sit alone with my thoughts, I feel the urge to express my deepest truth somehow. Yet, I log into my blog everyday and get stage fright. All the things I thought in my mind the night before… never seem to be ready to take their place within a post. Why AM I afraid to speak my truth? I Am not afraid of my truth. But I feel stuck whenever I am in front of the keyboard. I cry sometimes when I remember my story. But I can’t figure out how to spill it. How do I overcome the blockages of holding onto the pain that I’ve endured and telling my story wholeheartedly to set myself free?

Into the Unknown

I don’t really have much to say today… I am still in a space of the unknown. Trying to figure out which way I’m going. Hoping that I see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. But keeping my head in the game nonetheless.

I wish I knew if the journey would get easier. I wish I knew if I’d ever find where I truly belong. I wish I knew if I’d ever feel that I truly belong. The unknown is a weird space. Maybe something beautiful can be created here.

Luxury Has Lost It’s Zeal

Everything is LUXURY now. Luxury apartment. Luxury lifestyle. Blah blah blah. Have you every read the reviews on these “luxury apartments“? They’re TRASH! Management is ghetto and rude… Maintenance doesn’t do their jobs properly. The rent is way too expensive for the poor quality of service and living. What’s LUXURY about it? What does luxury even mean? It’s simply just another overused buzzword. It sounds good. Ppl love what sounds good. Idgaf if the apartment is luxury or normal… Just give me a quality standard of living and good customer service if I’m paying my $1k+ rent every month.

I’d Choose Peace Over Paper Dollars

When I was a little girl, I always had my own money. Whenever my parents, grandparents or uncles gave me money… I’d always save it. My favorite hobby was spending other people’s money. I knew that money didn’t make me greater than or less than another. With or without money, I would still be who I AM. I remember I’d ask for the latest toy I wanted and whenever I’d get it, I would play with it for 5 minutes and eventually become bored of it. Recently I sat and thought about how a substantial amount of money would or would not change my life. While paper dollars could provide me with THINGS that I don’t currently have… It could not give me PEACE. And peace is something I’ve been yearning for for many years. What good would living in a million dollar home, or driving a fancy car do me… if my interior is a wreck? If there’s no happiness inside me… What will THINGS do for me??? Nothing! I’d rather be at peace on the inside and have minimum things, than to be empty on the inside and have a ton of meaningless things around me. Yes, nice things are cool… But they have no worth when there’s no joy in your heart. So, all in all… I wrote that to say “I’d choose peace over paper dollars any day”. Give me peace first and paper dollars can be the icing on the cake. But without peace… Nothing I acquire would suffice.

Quick Question: Would you rather be depressed in a Toyota or depressed in a Benz?

Hopefully The Days Will Get Better

I’m still not feeling my best. Still feeling pretty sad. I just hope that things get better. I want to be happy again.

Most Jobs Don’t Require Profound Skills

Most jobs don’t require profound skills. I’m not sure why they ask for advanced credentials.

-xDaii.z

Small Talk Peeves Me

Small talk peeves me. Stop stating the obvious just to break silence. It’s annoyingly stupid.

-xDaii.z

My Recent Revelation

I am grateful to the people who have subscribed to my blog. I am still trying to find a feel of what I want to do with this blog and how to turn it into something OFFICIAL. I desire to share my heartfelt truth… But I haven’t figured out how to construct it. I’ve been having certain revelations over he past couple of days. Recognizing that I must find comfort in solitude instead of desiring relationships that aren’t currently on the itinerary. I often wonder when I’ll feel that I’ve accomplished something worthwhile… But I also know that I can’t rush anything.